


What Are You, Twelve?

by pandasoffirex84



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandasoffirex84/pseuds/pandasoffirex84
Summary: Growing up is hard. Growing up without emotions is even worse.





	1. Twelve

Twelve. Lea is twelve years old when he meets Ventus. The kid looks absolutely miserable, so Lea figures he should go and do something about it. Teasing and picking a fight is something, yeah? 

 

Well, it works, at least.

 

Sure, he doesn’t necessarily win, but Lea wasn’t really intending to anyway. The look on Ventus’ face is good enough for him. The kid has a pretty cute smile and his eyes sparkle brilliantly in a way Lea hasn’t seen before. A nice consolation prize, really. 

 

He almost didn’t hear Isa’s quip, something about him being a loser. Ha. Whatever. Lea would like to see him do better, distracted as he was.

 

Isa pulls him out of his thoughts and up to his feet. He gives Lea an impatient look and something clicks. Oh right, they were on their way to check up on that girl. Better say bye to the kid, then. 

 

“Hey, catch ya later, Ventus!” Lea says with a grin and a wink. Isa gives a small wave, then goes to walk away. 

 

As Lea turns to chase after Isa, he hears Ventus parrot back softly, “Yeah, catch you guys later.”

 

-

 

Subject X. That’s what the apprentices call her. They've been to visit her a couple of times without much incident. Sure, they get kicked out more often than not, but Aeleus and Dilan seem to have a soft spot for kids like them. So those two don’t see much harm in letting the boys talk with her as long as they don’t do anything drastic. Drastic like, say, breaking her free. Which is totally what they are planning. Not just yet. Breaking an amnesiac out is a lot more work than it seems. They’ve got to be nuanced about it.

 

Right now, however, they’re working towards convincing Ansem to take them on as apprentices. A risky move, really. Lea isn’t even too sure he knows what these apprentices even do and he’s a bit too small to be a guard. Isa isn’t much better, to be honest. At thirteen it’s pretty hard to look intimidating. Though they definitely could play gofer for the other apprentices until they become qualified enough to do whatever it is they’re supposed to do. That’s the angle they’re playing. It seems to be working.

 

It has taken weeks, and they have already won over the majority of the team. Even and Braig are the only ones needing more convincing, it seems. They have Ansem’s approval, though so it’s a sure thing at this point. 

 

-

 

It’s official only two weeks later. Ansem takes three apprentices that day. Lea, Isa, and a man with silver hair and a young face, Xehanort. The man seems like an academic like the other lab monkeys, Lea thinks. It’s not like he has enough evidence to prove that, though. The guy’s an amnesiac like Subject X, so who knows his aptitude for this job, really. Whatever his ability, Ansem decides it’s enough to be brought in to the lab side of this whole operation along with Isa. Lea, however, is sent to help out with guard duty. Either way, they’re apprentices now. Uniforms and all. They made it.

 

Mostly, the boys are messengers for the whole crew. It suits them plenty. 

 

-

 

After a while, they fall into a routine. Lea doesn’t have time to think about how he hasn’t seen Ventus since they met. When he does, he just chalks it up to how busy he’s been since becoming an apprentice. He does miss that smile, though. Like the stars above were shining just for him. Wow. How mushy. He needs to stop thinking like that if he’s going to make it around here.   
  
Not that things aren’t mushy around here, really. He’s almost one hundred percent sure Dilan and Aeleus are a thing. If their sidelong glances are anything to go by at least. That, and how much Braig teases them about each other. Though Braig does that to anyone with friends. Like Isa and him for example. The man insists how hokey their little pining situation is. To quote the rough and tumble man, as if! Lea chuckles to himself, thinking about how wrong Braig is. 

 

Him and Isa! Ha. Could you believe it? Isa’s so stuck on Subject X and Lea, well, he’s got eyes for a certain blond kid his age. Eyes like the stars and a smile that could hang them. Not that he’s seen him in a while, but whatever. Whatever. He huffs at that thought.

 

Too mushy.

 

-

 

Lea isn’t even thirteen yet when his world gets flipped upside down. 

 

It’s the middle of a guard duty training exercise that feels suspiciously like being grounded. Stand still and keep quiet. Yeah, definitely being grounded. He’s almost got the strong and sullen technique down or at least a small parody of it. The best he can do, really. When they hear screams from the lab, Lea, being the smallest and quickest on duty is the first to make it to the commotion.

 

It’s bad. There’s blood. A lot of it. Ansem is prone on the floor of the lab. Ienzo, the poor kid, is crying and gently shaking him. Even is protecting as well as consoling the kid. At the center of it, all are Xehanort and Braig. 

 

Xehanort is the one who struck Ansem down, as far as Lea can figure. 

 

That, in itself, is a big shock to the system for Lea. The bigger shock, however, is Braig pointing one of his arrowguns towards the doorway. Towards Lea. “Better not move now, kid,” He says, a strange glint in his eye.

  
“Ansem the Wise was a fool,” He hears Xehanort say to the room, “Only a fool would stop when we were so close! So now he is Ansem no more. I shall rebuild that name in my image.” 

 

Ienzo is now weeping into Ansem’s lab coat, gripping tighter.   
  
Lea feels numb. Numb enough to only just now think about how he doesn’t hear Dilan or Aeleus coming to help. Numb enough to not notice that Isa isn’t in the room. Numb enough to hear the light footsteps behind him and do nothing as he feels the world go fuzzy. He sees Isa’s face before blacking out completely. What he sees isn’t a look of concern, but of annoyance.

 

His world goes dark.

 

-

 

When he finally wakes he doesn’t feel much of anything.

 


	2. Death

Lea isn’t even thirteen when he wakes up not feeling himself. To be completely honest, he can’t feel much of anything. Except for the cold. He feels that for sure. The chill is bone-deep and his body radiates with a dull ache. Other than that, nothing. Absolutely nothing. He thinks for a moment that he is dead. Of course. That’s gotta be it. Dead. The thought leaves him almost colder.

  


His senses come back as his body becomes more and more awake. Hearing is the first to return. Isa must be right next to him because Lea hears him whisper, “Lea, listen to me, don't resist them. Please.” He can feel the unspoken  _ I have a plan. _ A plan for what? Lea isn't sure, but it's Isa. There's gotta be a reason.

  


“So the brat's finally awake, yeah?” And _ that’s _ Braig. It’s almost as if his voice triggers Lea's fight or flight because  _ that _ is when it kicks in.

  


_ That's _ when his mind catches up and he remembers. He remembers  _ exactly what _ had happened. 

  


_ Ansem. The blood. The gun pointed at him. The gun that belongs to Braig.  _ The man that is currently in this very same room _. He didn’t shoot though, it was someone else who had gotten to him. Isa. _ It was Isa.

  


Something like panic jolts through his body. His body that he currently  _ cannot move _ . Isa's words are the only thing keeping him from freaking out entirely, even if Isa had a part in what happened. As long as Isa is safe that should be enough, right? Even if he had some part in whatever the hell is going on. They’re friends. They have each other’s best interest at heart, yeah? Maybe. He isn’t sure what to think. How to feel.

  


“Well, don't just stand there, Golden Boy, go get The Superior. We can't have the pipsqueak over here not be initiated, ya dig?” He hears footsteps heading in the direction opposite of him, then there's a hand pulling something off of his face. The hell? 

  


The black cloth covering his eyes is gone and the light of the room is almost blinding. The numb feeling leaves simultaneously. Instead it’s as though his whole body is covered in static, like a leg that had fallen asleep in the process of waking up. It’s distracting as hell, but he still manages to take in his surroundings. He's in the lab. More specifically he's on an examination table. He turns his head to see Braig looking down at him, unimpressed. No one else is in the room. No Isa. What? 

  


Braig rolls his eye at the confusion on Lea's face, “Took you long enough, kid. C'mon, sit up.” He does as he's told. Play it safe.

  


“So uh, mind telling me what happened? One moment I'm training and then all of a sudden I wake up in here.” Braig isn't dumb, Lea knows this, but he figures he can get away with playing up his own shock. A minor case of trauma-based amnesia will do. “Did I fall asleep and hit my head or something?” He blinks up at Braig, using his assumed confused state to his advantage. Lea rubs the back of his neck, looking embarrassed for the added effect. Good. That should do it.

  


Braig looks amused, he barks out a laugh, “How ‘bout we let you figure that one out on your own.” Lea gives him a look, “Patience, kid. The boss man’ll be down in a minute anyway.” 

  


Speak and he shall appear, Lea thinks bitterly as Xehanort enters the room with Isa trailing behind him. Isa looked rough. His face is no longer familiar to Lea. His expression a disinterested scowl. Yellow stains his once green eyes, now devoid of any light that they had held. Between his eyes lay two deep and angry scabbed-over cuts in the shape of an X. An X. Xehanort did this. Lea was starting to struggle to keep up his facade, something like rage boiling inside him. Play dumb. Survive this. He takes a deep breath and looks over at Xehanort. He blinks and asks innocently, “So, uh, where’s the boss? Braig said Ansem was coming to check on me or somethin’.”

  


Xehanort shoots Braig a questioning look, to which he replies with an eye roll, “What? It's my fault now? As if. The kid must have hit his head during the  _ incident _ or whatever.” He shrugs, “Either that, or he blocked it out. Honestly, it's not like I blame him. Though, ” Braig pauses as if to actually think before he speaks, “It does make things a lot easier if you ask me.” 

  


He looks back over to Lea with a lazy smile on his face. Braig summons one of his arrowguns. Fuck. “So, this is what's goin’ to happen. You listen to the  _ Boss,  _ ” He gestures to Xehanort with his free hand, “And do as he says and things don't have to get messy.” Lea knew Braig has a tendency to talk with his hands, but the fact that he has a fucking gun in his hand while doing it makes it very hard to look away, “Okay?”

  


Lea should be feeling his pulse skyrocket, but he doesn't. He just doesn't. He is panicking though, especially now that he realized he can't feel his heart beating. He's going to be sick, he might even cry, but not now. Now he has to at least try to survive, if that's even an option at this point, so he nods. 

  


With that, Xehanort starts talking. Not making sense, but talking nonetheless. “Memory or no, you feel it don't you, boy?” Feel, huh? Word of the day. Just because Lea agreed to go along with this doesn't mean he doesn't think this is absolute bullshit. “The death of who you were and your own recreation.” 

  


-

  


Lea manages to catch Isa alone after Xehanort is done talking. Lea grasps Isa's wrist a little too tightly in an attempt to get the other boy to stay. He's a little frantic because of course he is. He was just told that he and the rest of their little pseudo family are basically dead. He has every right to be frantic. His friend turns his head as if to see what exactly has him stuck here, “Isa--”

  


His hand is roughly shaken off, but Isa does make eye contact with Lea. “Don’t.” His gaze is harsh, but it softens. He glances around before leaning close, he speaks in a hushed tone, “Not here, Lea. Not now.” Lea nods, slowly. Isa must hear voices coming towards the lab. He straightens his back, eyes cold again. He isn't quiet when he speaks this time, “Don’t, ” He repeats, “It's Saïx. Now try to remember that, _ Axel _ .” With that, Isa leaves.

  


_ Axel.  _

  


It's dumb, but Lea can't help but feel like he's being played. He knows when his friend is trying to pull something, but this time he isn’t sure if he's in on it or if he's the target. It's exhausting. Absolutely ridiculous. He shouldn't have to worry about being coerced into this  _ cult _ by his best friend. He still can't seem to shake it though. 

  


Maybe once they finally talk this feeling will go away. He certainly hopes so. He's fucking tired of it already.

  


-

  


It's been a  _ week.  _ One of the longest in his short life. Or death? He's still not entirely sure on his life status, what without a heart and all. Whatever. He's twelve and just had his world shaken. He's stopped trying to make sense of things lately.

  


Lea's alone in his room. A room that he never had much use for before. Not when Ansem let his apprentices come and go as they pleased. The rooms were a kindness before, a benefit of working for Ansem the Wise. An optional home for when any of them needed it. That’s what this castle was. Now, though? With Xehanort’s take over? It became their prison.

  


If they aren't in the lab or guarding the castle they are  _ expected _ to be on the grounds. No running off.

  


He misses his freedom, his family, his home. He misses Isa. Lea gets that Isa is around, physically, but something's still off. Something's not quite right about his friend. Aside from appearances of course. He's just closed off. More so than before. Lea misses before. 

  


Lea's trying to make the most of his time  _ not _ on guard duty. Like, for example, how Isa finds him: half asleep on his bed, nose buried in a book. A romance novel; one about adventure and world-hopping and acceptance. Hokey junk, honestly. He lifted it from Aeleus’ room so he probably should've figured it would be as such. The sap. Not that Lea has any room to talk, really.

  


Lea is only a few chapters into the book before Isa shows up, breaking his attention away from the book. Great. It was just getting good, too! To make matters worse, he doesn't even knock! Rude. Well whatever, Lea can play that game too. So he pretends not to notice Isa. 

  


It would work better if Isa would actually say something, anything. After a good few minutes of stubborn silence, Lea breaks, “You got something to say, Is’?” He sets his book down and looks up at his friend, searching his eyes for something. Isa just stares back, cold and unreadable.  _ Nothing! Great.  _ Lea huffs, rolling his eyes, “‘Cause if not, ya might want to get out of my doorway, yeah? Can't you see I'm busy?” He gestures to the book.

  


Still nothing. 

  


It has been a very long week and Lea is losing his patience. Quickly.

  


_ Fuck it. Be nice, he's sorta dead too _ .

  


"So, wanna talk about it?"  _ Nice, not at  _ all  _ awkward, Lea. Good goin'. _

  


As if breaking free from a spell; Isa lets out a breath, his shoulders sagging. Lea could swear that he sees Isa's eyes flicker from gold back to green. His friend's face softened slightly for a moment before turning pale and twisting up in pain. Lea isn't sure if it's emotional pain or physical. Probably both. Isa's cuts look to be infected at this point. The skin around the 'X' is angry and red, his eyes are unfocused, and he's shivering. _Yeah, definitely infected._

  


"..Lea?" His voice is a shaky confused little thing, like he's waking up from a nightmare. Lea sighs and sits up to make room on his mattress before motioning for Isa to sit down next to him.

  


"C'mere," Lea can't help a sad smile as his best friend leans against him. He's warm, too warm. "You're sick, Is'." Lea's not sure if his shoulder really is as comfortable as Isa is making it seem.

  


" 'm not sick, loser. Jus' tired is all,"

  


A few moments pass and Isa's steady breathing is all Lea can hear. Lea gently moves Isa off of him and into a suitable position for sleep. He can't fault his friend for falling asleep. Not really. He's tired too. It's been a long week after all and they're both much too young to be going through all of this. 

  


He lets Isa rest.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing came from a thought spiral I had after learning that Ventus is supposed to be sixteen during bbs. I always figured Lea and Isa were either the same age as Ven or a little younger, but I also figured Ven was fourteen. The spiral continued and I just kept thinking about how all of the Organization members from Radiant Garden are so tall and it just made me think that maybe they looked older( and subsequently folks from other worlds looked younger to them) than they are. Just so we're clear, Ventus is sixteen at the start of this fic. I don't know, man. This might become one-sided Axel/Roxas(a crush, really, on Roxas' part of course) in the future, so just a heads up.
> 
> Also real talk, I don't know how to do this whole ao3 thing since the last time I even wrote a fic was the summer before high school. That was like 2009 on fanfictiondotnet. So yeah. I'm sorry if I don't get the tags system right, but I'm trying.
> 
> Find me on Twitter @MeowWowOfficial  
> Thanks for reading!  
> I'll try to update soon.  
> -Rae


End file.
